remember why i am...

after my post on friday about the craziness my job entails and the anxiety of the application process, my friend joni said, "I have to rewind sometimes and remember why I am where I am and what it took to get here in order to be grateful for it all" thank you joni for the inspiration and the reminder that i need to be more grateful.

my life is wonderful. i have been so blessed. that's not to say that i haven't had obstacles to overcome and mountains to climb, because i have... but there have been lessons learned and through all of those challenges, i have had the love of an amazing support system cheering me along. Not only love, but also examples of righteous, humble, inteligent and caring individuals.

this new job is a big step for me. and, so amidst all of the crazy toddlers, i need to rewind and remember why i am there and what it took to get me there. as i reflected on why i am where i am i was drawn to the faces of that support system. friends and family who have lifted me up and held my hand along my path, who have embraced me for who i am and given me strength to rise up and be who i need to be.

while reflecting i was reading one of my favorite blogs, and i followed the link she shared to a beautiful talk by president uchtdorf. talks and inspiration like this are another big part of why i am where i am.

the whole talk is wonderful and i would suggest you take the time to read it in it's entirety, but this part really impacted me:

{"May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve. Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others. Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest. Have faith and confidence in Him, and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. The virtue of your own life will be a light to those who sit in darkness, because you are a living witness of the fullness of the gospel (see D&C 45:28). Wherever you have been planted on this beautiful but often troubled earth of ours, you can be the one to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5).

My dear sisters, as you live your daily life with all its blessings and challenges, let me assure you that the Lord loves you. He knows you. He listens to your prayers, and He answers those prayers, wherever on this world you may be. He wants you to succeed in this life and in eternity."

click here for the complete talk by President Uchtdorf}

i love how he points out to not reach beyond our capacity. i am so guilty of this, and in return only cause myself more stress and frustration. while i was talking to a friend tonight, we got on the subject of blogs- and how most of the time we put "our best self" out there for the world to see. but, when we read other blogs, we compare our worst to others bests. why do we do this to ourselves? once again, i am so guilty of this. i read these blogs of my amazing friends and incredible strangers who are talented, inspirational and creative... who are super moms and wives, cook like betty crocker, craft like martha and look like a beauty queen while doing it all. i get discouraged and feel crummy about myself... until i remember all of these amazing people are people, just like me. we're all trying to put our best self out there. i need to remember that's what i can do, and all i can do- my best. and that i love reading blogs to be inspired and admire the talent of so many, but not to let it make me feel the need to reach beyond my own personal capacity. and to remember that a lot of these people have had a part in helping me get to the point of where i am.

when it comes down to it all, we are put on this earth to help each other succeed and find happiness. i am so grateful for each of you who have helped me find my place in this world and find my way to where i am.

and for all of you who help me remember how i got here.

thieves and suns

i just finished this book. the first i've read by markus zusak, but i am now interested in reading another. i've heard this is one of his serious ones and that his others are funny. and yes, this was a serious book. it took me a minute to get it... but then it grabbed me.

it's written in an interesting view point, one i've never read from, and one i can't imagine to be too common...death.

i can't decide if it's a happy or sad book. the majority of the circumstances and experiences shared are sad and pull at my heart, in a way mostly because i've never had to experience wars and separations or losing a sibling or best friend.

and remembering the time of hitler and his power trip- this books gives the source of his power in a way i hadn't thought of... words. any time concentration camps were mentioned in school i automatically felt ill. the thought of the suffering and torment turns my stomach. in school, not a lot was said of the other people. the other people being the ones not suffering in a camp or causing the suffering.

and this is another reason i liked this book. it brought a new vision to my eyes of what it could have possibly been like. and although so many trials are faced- they are overcome, and there are happy moments and memories made that make this a happy story.

i give this book 2 thumbs up- 9.8 out of 10 stars.

(there's some language that i don't care for....)

i have also recently read "A Thousand Splendid Suns". Once again, a book that tugs on my emotions. I haven't ever given much thought to the life lived in Afghanistan, and after this book i feel a compassion towards the women there i didn't know i had. constantly living a life in fear and uncertainty leaves much to be desired, a life i can not imagine.

this book has quite a few sections that were very hard to read, honestly, quite graphic. i'm quite a softy so i can't take a whole lot of that stuff. and the language isn't very clean either... but even with that, i would suggest this book to anyone, especially women. this was a thought provoking story that inspired me to live a better life. 8 out of 10 stars

i enjoyed both of these books because they helped me open my eyes to the world around me. sometimes i fall into my little bubble and sit all too comfortably... actually, i would say most of the time. i don't watch the news- it makes me too sad. i know there are awful things going on all around me, but when i think about it all it does is make me want to cry. and then i think what difference can i make, i'm only one person? well, that's something i need to stop thinking. i might not be able to cure cancer or stop bombs and find homes for the hungry and needy.... but i can be grateful for what i have. i am so blessed. sure, i have my little challenges life hands, but we all do. and if we all sat back and thought i'm only one person then we wouldn't get anywhere. that's why we have to work together, share our struggles and lift each other up with the strengths we can lean on. share our gratitude and rely on the joy in each day. one person can make a difference... helen keller, rosa parks, the old man who smiled at me at publix. one by one is how we'll change this world, one by one we unite and build each other up, make each other a little better every day. one by one we can make a difference.

remembered.

our nation, our people, our history

dramatically changed

8 years ago

how is it possible that it's been 8 years?

i can still remember that day.

wondering what would happen next.

afraid to fly,

afraid for public gatherings.

i was stuck to the tv

not sure where my place was in all of it

i wanted to help, but how?

i prayed.

a lot.

i was grateful,

for my family.

for my freedoms.

for my safety.

i loved seeing the flag proudly waving,

men, women, and children

pulling together to unite our broken safety.

now, today, 8 years after

where do we stand?

i feel like the pride and connectedness have faded

the flags don't fly as high,

or as bold.

where is my place in all of this now?

holy moly

My mind is spinning fast... I feel like it might just spin right off of my head. When this happens I do 1 of 2 things:

1- ignore the spinning and do absolutely nothing

2- try to stop the spinning and do absolutely everything

Either way, it ends up in a big mess most of the time. I've been trying to control the spinning, at least make it slow down a little, by finding the little things that light up each day. Some days it's easier than others to see the bright, shining spot.... but, even if it takes some searching, it always ends up being worth it. And other days, it doesn't take any searching at all, but maybe just wider eyes.

Last night I watched American Idol. I'm not kidding, that stupid show makes me cry almost every time I watch it. I don't know what it is. I guess I just think it's so cool to see people succeed and have all their fans cheering them on. And when Simon says something complimentary and flashes his little grin, I think that's enough to moisten any eye and make a day a little brighter. (or maybe it's just a strange amy thing... that could very possibly be the case)

There was a special treat waiting in my mailbox the other day, something other than the normal Bank of America statement or State Farm bill- happy mail is one of my all time favorite things, sure to bring a huge bright spot to my day. I won a giveaway on sherbet blossom, for something I've been wanting for a while now. It's simple, adorable and easily fits in my purse- a cute mini diary made by Marta. (Her blog is great, you should go pay her a visit if you haven't met her yet.)

Today I read Nie's blog. When I think of all she's been through, and the fact that she still finds the shining parts of each day it seems to make those lights in my day shine a little stronger.

"We are women of a God who delights in his daughters to feel beautiful and adored. Whatever that is to you personally, don't let it go undone. It is in you safe and warm and no one can take that away from you...no one."

If nothing else, this alone reminded me of how amazing life can be... how bright it's meant to be. Thanks for the reminder, Nie.♥

my cup overfloweth.

I have been uplifted, edified, inspired, and educated. This weekend was full of goodness and I feasted upon all of it. (Really in two ways... I ate and ate. Breakfast cake, waffles and homemade pizza- yum! but I also spiritually feasted)

General Conference always fills up my cup, and then some. I am so grateful for a living prophet to guide and direct us and for his knowledge and counsel. I was thrilled when they announced 5 new temples to be built, especially for the Rome, Italy temple. Someday, I'll make it out that way and have the chance to visit.

It's hard for me to narrow down a favorite talk because I truly gained something from each talk. President Uchtdorf's talk in the Saturday morning session on hope was wonderful. He said, "No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations."

After conference ended I was filled with a greater determination to be a better wife, a better sister, a better daughter, a better neighbor, a better visiting teacher, a better friend, a better missionary, a better example. I know that life comes at us fast, sometimes too fast for us to handle. But I also know that it's from these great leaders of the church that I can find the inspiration and patience to learn how to handle those fast pitches.

President Monson spoke so simply of a few things I know I can do better....
"Enjoy the journey, now!"
"Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances."
"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."
"Let us relish life as we live it!"
"Express gratitude, always."

So, among the other aspects of my life in which I hope to improve, I also hope to improve my gratitude and happiness. To find the joy in each day and relish life. And to look inside myself and see the good. Life is a grand journey, and I know that if I can take a day at a time with hope on my side, then I will do just fine!

you can access general conference here

Make a Difference

Life is scary.

so uncertain.

I read here about the sweet Nielson family who is fighting through a huge trial. I couldn't help but cry as I was reading some of the blog entries. I felt so awful, knowing that I've taken so many moments for granted, I don't want to live that way anymore.

Design Mom will be hosting an auction on Thursday (8.28.08) in an effort to raise money for the Nielson family. She will also include several links of other people hosting auctions. This is such a great way to help make a difference in this family's life.

I don't know the Nielson family, but I've read some posts from their blog, as well as several posts about them. They seem like incredible people, not to mention that they are a beautiful family. This is one of the posts I loved that Stephanie wrote... you can tell she truly loves life and her family. So beautiful.

I want to truly live each day to the fullest. To wake up and breathe in the fresh air. To hold tight to my Jeffy and tell him how much I love him. To play with my nieces and sweet nephew. To smile more, and laugh more. To serve and to love.

Life changes too fast.

Each day that I'm blessed to have a tomorrow, I will make the best of it.